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  #21  
Old 03-25-2018, 11:20 PM
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RD 1 - #01 Detroit Lions
RB Saquon Barkley, Penn State

Needing a true running back since... Olandis Gary? Just kidding, since Mr. Sanders laced his boots.

RD 1 - #02 Carolina Panthers
QB Josh Allen, Wyoming

The draft's worst kept secret. The Panthers shock us and grab Bradley Chubb instead of the Chubb he has for white Carson Wentz.

RD 1 - #03 Arizona Cardinals
QB Sam Darnold, USC

He signed Colin Kaepernick as his bridge QB. He has said he sees Romo in Darnold, how can the rest of the world not do the math... it's really Lamar Jackson.

RD 1 - #04 New York Jets
DE Bradley Chubb, NC State

First shocker of the draft, the Jets fail to land Baker Mayfield and feel they can grab their guy at #13.

RD 1 - #05 New England Patriots
WR Courtland Sutton, SMU

Traded Tom Brady. Signs a guy with only one ring. Figures he can draft a QB later after Brees finishes the last three years of his career, but gives him a weapon.

RD 1 - #06 Atlanta Falcons
QB Josh Rosen, UCLA

Only has Kizer on the QB depth chart. Thankful to the futbol gods for this turn of events and takes the polarizing Not-Aikman.

RD 1 - #07 Los Angeles Rams
WR Calvin Ridley, Alabama

Kind of safe pick. Rams wish Barkley would slide and the QBs are snapped up #1-5.

RD 1 - #08 Washington Redskins
QB Baker Mayfield, Oklahoma

Colt McCoy still plays in the NFL? Some how the Redskins walk away with a top QB.

RD 1 - #09 Denver Broncos
DB Derwin James, Florida State

Gives the defensive backfield a playmaker that has lost some of its elite talent over this offseason.

RD 1 - #10 Buffalo Bills
DB Minkah Fitzpatrick, Alabama

Penn State Guy is sad he didn't get his Penn State guy. However he goes to the better conference and nabs a SEC DB.

RD 1 - #11 Miami Dolphins
OG Quenton Nelson, Notre Dame

Wants to solidify the line and give Ryan Tannehill time under center, proving the Dolphins haven't been able to draft a true franchise QB... then dreaming of Shea Patterson coming to Miami next year, because he learned from Parcells...Big 10 QBs are #1.

RD 1 - #12 Cincinatti Bengals
DE Marcus Davenport, UTSA

Takes another stab at someone who could be a sack-master version of Michael Johnson.

RD 1 - #13 New York Jets From
QB Lamar Jackson, Louisville

He couldn't land Josh Allen, but takes a shorter version that isn't black Ron Mexico. He can throw in the windy city that is New York. Somewhere in a bar during the GML draft is one Hammer'd fan ordering a jersey on his phone.

RD 1 - #14 Green Bay Packers
WR Christian Kirk, Texas A&M

Receivers go early! Jordy Nelson isn't around any more, so why not draft the white version of him... yes I'm going to be doing this all night. Dynamic playmaker that will make the Wisconsin faithful believe, like his last name is Cameron and his first was Kirk.

RD 1 - #15 Miami Dolphins
LB Tremaine Edmunds, VT

I could have sworn they already drafted. So Miami comes on the board and takes... A LB, that Penn State Guy would love, because he reminds him of Aaron Curry.

RD 1 - #16 Cleveland Browns
RB Derrius Guice, LSU

Jeremy Hill wasn't enough, the Browns GM goes back to his alma mater and takes another LSU back because they are the best... next to Volunteers, but damn if there isn't a Jamal Lewis or Arian Foster in this draft.

RD 1 - #17 Los Angeles Chargers
OT Mike McGlinchey, Notre Dame

He needs a tackle, or something. Is it cool I said all that?

RD 1 - #18 Seattle Seahawks
WR James Washington, Oklahoma State

Another team that needs a receiver. I'm surprised I haven't gone on a WR run.

RD 1 - #19 Pittsburgh Steelers
DT Vita Vea, Washington

Unable to land Danny Shelton over the years, he takes a Huskie NT here.

RD 1 - #20 Cleveland Browns
CB Denzel Ward, Ohio State

Witlon shocks the world and runs out announcing this pick with card in hand. Browns GM shrugs and goes with it. Nate Clements damnit!

RD 1 - #21 New York Giants
CB Jaire Alexander, Louisville

It's the start of a DB run!

RD 1 - #22 Buffalo Bills
LB Roquan Smith, Georgia

No, because the Bills already grabbed one. So they take a guy who shouldn't have slid. He was still a so-so villain in Guardians... you know, kind of like that new Maroon 5 song. It's just there, because it's Maroon 5 and they sleep walked into another Maroon 5 song. Wasn't trying to get wasted...

RD 1 - #23 Washington Redskins
DT Da'Ron Payne, Alabama

Usually we make some Redacted jokes, but they just made their opponents red in the face by adding some beef to the line and making them run through it.

RD 1 - #24 Carolina Panthers
LB Ogbonnia Okoronkwo, Oklahoma

He meant Taven Bryan, but got drunk and copied and pasted the wrong name. More beers ensue.

RD 1 - #25 Tennessee Titans
DT Maurice Hurst, Michigan

Needs a little more depth in the middle. Those Tits don't want you running up the middle between them. They want to squeeze you between them. I wish they had a hot dog song, just to go with the Ketchup song.

RD 1 - #26 Cleveland Browns
LB Harold Landry, Boston College

I feel this team takes a rusher at some point in the draft like they do every year. Maybe he ends up in Chicago instead...

RD 1 - #27 San Francisco 49ers
LB Leighton Vander Esch, Boise State

If there was a team that wanted to announce Leighton's name, it's the 49errrr... 69ers. Remember the safe word is "Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen"

RD 1 - #28 Pittsburgh Steelers
CB Josh Jackson, Iowa

Late for this guy? I had to fit him somewhere. Seeing as the Steelers lost their Cock...rell.

RD 1 - #29 Jacksonville Jaguars
DT Taven Bryan, Florida

The GM didn't want to travel far to scout. He wanted to travel even less to give the guys his jersey. See you in Jacksonville Bryan! This bus ride is only an hour and a half.

RD 1 - #30 Cleveland Browns
QB Mason Rudolph, Oklahoma State

Ugh, these guys again. They lose Kirk Cousins because they only got him transition tagged and do what the Browns do, come in later and grab a QB.

RD 1 - #31 Green Bay Packers
RB Nick Chubb, Georgia

He's got some use on those tires, but Eddie Lacy succeeded in Green Bay for a couple seasons. I'm sure this guy is as good if not slightly...marginally better than Ryan Grant... no, not the receiver.

RD 1 - #32 Philadelphia Eagles
DE Arden Key, LSU

Keep adding those rushers. Keep pressure on the opposing offense and maybe they can repeat.
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  #22  
Old 03-25-2018, 11:27 PM
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josh allen might be in consideration at 2. im playing this one close to the vest clearly.
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Old 03-25-2018, 11:31 PM
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josh allen might be in consideration at 2. im playing this one close to the vest clearly.
Don't worry, I know you're going to spend the full hour on the clock...and take Lamar Jackson.
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Old 03-25-2018, 11:36 PM
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Pretty sure I may have the first "What?...wow" moment in the draft...
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Old 03-25-2018, 11:40 PM
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Pretty sure I may have the first "What?...wow" moment in the draft...
You don't pick til 10, stop trying to steal Hammer's thunder.
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  #26  
Old 03-25-2018, 11:40 PM
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Pretty sure I may have the first "What?...wow" moment in the draft...
riley ferguson going 10th confirmed
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Old 03-25-2018, 11:42 PM
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you will all be groveling when josh allen is snatching souls as a member of a new york football team. alas, it'll be the giants. or bills. definitely not the one that would make me happy though.
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Old 03-26-2018, 02:05 AM
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Josh Gordon, Martavis Bryant, Julian Edelman, Jack Doyle, Julius Thomas, Jerrick McKinnon and James White. The last think I'd take with the 5th pick is another "weapon". And there are no WR's that warrant a top 10 pick.
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  #29  
Old 03-26-2018, 07:59 PM
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riley ferguson going 10th confirmed
Michigan's QB John O'Korn.

Penn State Guy loves his Big 10 QBs, and men who can show emotion and be vulnerable.


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Old 03-26-2018, 08:45 PM
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Josh Gordon, Martavis Bryant, Julian Edelman, Jack Doyle, Julius Thomas, Jerrick McKinnon and James White. The last think I'd take with the 5th pick is another "weapon". And there are no WR's that warrant a top 10 pick.
NE smokescreen.

Patriots GM understands that Bryant lost his job to JuJu, has size but has hit his ceiling. Edelman was good with Brady because they go to summer camp together. Thomas is still living off one really good year in the GML?

McKinnon and White are guys that you need to rotate in and out and should have specific roles because they couldn't beat out other backs to be a workhorse.

Projection remains accurate, now RB is at the forefront of their mind...


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